from the course, A CRISIS OF LEADERSHIP: Building Character & Integrity

Why should you clarify your values?

We often assume that those closest to us share our same values. In my case, I learned that they don’t. When I first took a similar values quiz 20 years ago and gave it to my then-husband to take, I found that we did not share many common values. We eventually divorced. I don’t blame our differences in moral codes, but looking back, I can see that this mismatch of values was the basis of many of our conflicts. Generally, I believe if we communicate our perspectives effectively, listen to other people’s stories, and respect their values and beliefs, we can learn and evolve as human beings. Please take the quiz, ask your loved ones to take it, and then compare and discuss the results according to the questions that follow the quiz. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Determine your personal moral code to understand:

1. What is most important to you, and that it sometimes that value determines your life’s purpose.

2. These values are part of and form your identity.

3. Your values guide your behaviors and interactions in your relationships.

4. A difference in values might cause conflicts or misunderstandings that will need to be addressed.

   
   

A. TAKE THE QUIZ: Rank your values.

Choose the values below that most guide your life. Rank your top values—1 to 10—with #1 being the most important. If you have trouble, think about how often you notice a particular value in determining behaviors and the choices you or others make. If you notice a value, then it’s probably important to you. If you never think about a particular value listed below, then it’s probably not important to you. Do not choose according to what you think others choose. There is no wrong choice.

*Some people include leadership and integrity as values, but for our purposes of character-building and integrity, the terms values, morals, character traits, virtues and qualities will be used interchangeably. They form the foundation of integrity, and integrity is one component of leadership, in my opinion.

___ Authenticity: Being true to oneself and one’s values, not trying to be something or someone else.

___ Autonomy: making decisions on one’s own behalf, without interference, influence, control or input from others. Self-reliance. Independence

___ Balance: Maintaining equilibrium in different aspects of life, e.g. health, social life, spirituality, creativity, family, romance.

___ Competence: the ability to do something successfully or efficiently

___ Community: Feeling a sense of connection to others. Belongingness. Acceptance

___ Compassion: Wanting to alleviate the suffering of another person; kindness and concern for others. Kindness: Showing consideration to others. Empathy: Taking the perspective and feeling the emotions of another person; understanding and sharing another person’s feelings.

___ Confidence: self-assurance in one’s abilities or qualities. Boldness: willingness to take risks

___ Contribution: Making a positive impact on the lives of others.

___ Courage: Facing challenges despite fear. Bravery.

___ Creativity: Using imagination and innovation in thinking and actions. Innovation

___ Curiosity: Having a desire to learn and explore new things.

___ Determination

___ Enthusiasm

___ Fairness: Treating everyone equally and justly. Equality: Believing in equal rights and opportunities for all. Justice: Ensuring fairness and upholding moral principles.

___ Forgiveness: the ability to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone because of what someone did

___ Freedom: Having the liberty to make choices and express oneself.

___ Generosity, Altruism, Philanthropy

___ Gratitude: Being thankful for what one has. Appreciation: Showing gratitude for others and their actions.

___ Happiness: Joy. Contentment.

___ Hard work. Diligence

___ Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being.

___ Honesty: Being truthful and sincere in actions and words. Trustworthiness: the ability to be relied on by others. Sincerity

___ Humility: Being modest and not considering oneself superior.

___ Initiative: Independently starting something without being told or ordered to do it

___ Inspiration

___ Lifelong Learning: Continuously seeking knowledge. Personal growth: Continuously striving to improve oneself. Knowledge: Seeking and valuing understanding. Wisdom

___ Loyalty: Being faithful and supportive to others.

___ Love: Showing affection and care for others. Affection: Showing fondness and love for others.

___ Meaningful work: Finding purpose and fulfillment in one’s work.

___ Open-mindedness: Willingness to consider different perspectives and ideas.

___ Order: Maintaining organization and structure in life.

___ Optimism: Seeing things in a positive way

___ Patience

___ Perseverance: Continuing to strive towards a goal despite challenges. Persistence: continuing to strive despite opposition or discouragement

___ Relationship: Prioritizing the development and maintenance of healthy relationships. Friendship: Valuing close relationships and companionship.

___ Reliability: Being dependable and trustworthy. Dependability

___ Resilience: Bouncing back from setbacks and adversity.

___ Respect: Treating others with consideration and valuing them and their opinions. (Tolerance does not necessarily include valuing others and their opinions.)

___ Responsibility: Completing one’s tasks, actions and obligations. Accountability: answering for the outcomes of those tasks

___ Self-Awareness: being mindful of one’s own feelings, actions and environment. Self-discipline: Exercising control over one’s own actions and impulses. Mindfulness. Attentiveness.

___ Selflessness: Putting the needs of others before oneself.

___ Spirituality: Connecting with a higher purpose or belief system.

___ Strength. Toughness

___ Support: Helping others. Service

___ Teamwork: Collaboration with others to achieve a common goal. Cooperation

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B. DISCUSS AND SHARE YOUR RESULTS. After taking the quiz to determine your strongest-held values, compare them with those of your family and friends. Use the questions below to prompt discussion.

1. Do most of your strongest-held values correspond to those of your friends and family? Do you find that the people closest to you hold the same values that are most important to you?

2. Which of your values are most different from those of your friends and family? Think about it. Does this cause conflict? If you think honesty is extremely important, and a friend or family member does not, does it bother you if you notice that the person is not always honest?

3. What kinds of problems or challenges can arise when 2 people have very different values/morals?

4. Do you believe we can change our beliefs in order to have better relationships? If not, what can we do when we have problems because of a conflict of values or morals?

5. If you have read 25 US G.O.A.T.s, did you notice any common values or character traits among them? Which character traits did the athletes share? The influencers? Did the artists share common character traits?

6. Did any of the G.O.A.T.s lack morals or values that you value? Did they lack good character and integrity? Do you think that a person needs a good, strong character in order to be successful and to be a good leader?

7. Compare your values to those of the leaders in my book, 25 US G.O.A.T.s. Which do you share? Which do you lack?

8. Do you believe it’s important that each of us should have a moral code (values) that guide our lives? Why or why not?

9. What role does or should a moral code play in electing our political and corporate leaders?

10. Have you ever been faced with a situation when you took action based on your values? Have you ever made a difficult choice that you regretted because you did not follow your own moral code?

11. Do you think people intending to marry and raise children together should have similar values? Why or why not?

12. How does understanding the importance of our values relate to conflicts and differences of opinions?

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    https://www.nirandfar.com/common-values/#:~:text=List%20of%20Personal%20Core%20Values,Innovation